I have a friend who is getting married. Married to someone she met four months ago. I’ve had a crush on said friend (maybe, crush is too light of a word… loved this friend of mine for three years.) Anyway, I’ve known, pretty much from the beginning, it would never evolve into anything more than a friendship because of our differing views on spirituality.
I never told her how I felt about her for fear of losing a friend but about two months ago I thought, “what the heck” and I sent her a text message one night that said, “Dare You To Move is on the radio. Reminds me of the concert we went to. Wish you had picked me.” I haven’t heard from her since.
So a few days ago I e-mailed her asking how the wedding plans were coming along, had she settled on a date, did she find a place yet and did she still want me to take the pictures.
Her lack of detail leads me to believe my services are no longer required that I am not invited and that perhaps I have lost a friend.
Yes the big day is coming soon, John and I are getting married Nov 30th and will be on our honeymoon the following week.
You and I have been friends for a long time. So when I got your text message a few weeks ago, it brought up some sad feelings. There was a time that I considered being more than friends with you. I wanted it actually. I wanted to be with you. But I denied the temptation because of my beliefs. The Bible specifically says not to be yoked with someone who is not a believer. So I prayed for you to accept and believe that Jesus is Lord and that He died for your sins. I hoped you would believe. I still do hope for that – even though it is too late for you and me.
Sometimes not saying anything for fear of losing someone is the dumbest thing you can do. It’s hard being a UU sometimes. It’s hard knowing others don’t view you as worthy. “I am human and I need to be loved.”
WARNING: self induced depression-type, pathetically needy, 80s angst, momma-didn’t-hug-me-enough, pre-emo, emo song coming up.