there goes the bride

I have a friend who is getting married. Married to someone she met four months ago. I’ve had a crush on said friend (maybe, crush is too light of a word… loved this friend of mine for three years.) Anyway, I’ve known, pretty much from the beginning, it would never evolve into anything more than a friendship because of our differing views on spirituality.

I never told her how I felt about her for fear of losing a friend but about two months ago I thought, “what the heck” and I sent her a text message one night that said, “Dare You To Move is on the radio. Reminds me of the concert we went to. Wish you had picked me.” I haven’t heard from her since.
So a few days ago I e-mailed her asking how the wedding plans were coming along, had she settled on a date, did she find a place yet and did she still want me to take the pictures.

Her lack of detail leads me to believe my services are no longer required that I am not invited and that perhaps I have lost a friend.

Yes the big day is coming soon, John and I are getting married Nov 30th and will be on our honeymoon the following week.

You and I have been friends for a long time. So when I got your text message a few weeks ago, it brought up some sad feelings. There was a time that I considered being more than friends with you. I wanted it actually. I wanted to be with you. But I denied the temptation because of my beliefs. The Bible specifically says not to be yoked with someone who is not a believer. So I prayed for you to accept and believe that Jesus is Lord and that He died for your sins. I hoped you would believe. I still do hope for that – even though it is too late for you and me.

Sometimes not saying anything for fear of losing someone is the dumbest thing you can do. It’s hard being a UU sometimes. It’s hard knowing others don’t view you as worthy. “I am human and I need to be loved.”

WARNING: self induced depression-type, pathetically needy, 80s angst, momma-didn’t-hug-me-enough, pre-emo, emo song coming up.

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5 responses to “there goes the bride

  1. Well, that definitely sucks. Just remember there are sooo many fish in the sea!

  2. Pingback: what do you want « A UU Deist in Texas

  3. that is sad! And you know what? It sounds pretty naive, too. Fundamentalism tends to be. I think what Jesus’ whole live displayed was a willingness to accept others, particularly those that aren’t the same as you. I can never understand why so many religions get that same message from the prophets and turn around and translate it to: stick to your own kind.

    Maybe with a little life under her belt she will one day value your friendship again.

  4. I just had a conversation on Sunday with a relative newcomer to my church about the difference between the way most UUs view Jesus and how most Christians view Jesus (note the “most”).

    And our conversation kinda speaks to what you wrote about what you think Jesus’ life displayed.

    Most UUs view the life and teachings as the most important aspect of Jesus, while most Christians view the death as the most important aspect of Jesus.

    It is something that will never change in her mind… i don’t think she will be my friend again.

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