Apparently my friends think I need to start dating. I had one friend (who was my very first girlfriend way back in high school) say, “Jules, it’s been long enough. You need to get back in the saddle. Get back up on there and ride again.”
😐 blink… blink… blink…
“Michelle, as tempting as that offer is, thank you… but no.”
[Deist gets slugged on the shoulder] “you wish!”
“No, not me you dork! I mean… you know… you need to get systematic about this. Use a little technology. You can’t just wait for her to fall in your lap. You ought to try the online dating thing.”
She isn’t the first of my female friends who has said this to me. I’ve had a couple others, even my baby sister, tell me i should give it a try.
I don’t know… kinda seems like joining up with the Polar Bear Club or something. I mean they’re all saying, “c’mon in! The water’s fine!” You see them live to tell about it afterwards but something in your gut is telling you, “what is wrong with you freakshows!”
But at the risk of looking completely desperate and worried of meeting some complete whack job, I’ve decided to jump in.
[Deist treading water… trying to look cool and actually pulling it off]
“ok, so this isn’t so bad. A little cold and unfamiliar but… i can do this. i can do this.”
fast forward a couple of months and a few close calls later.
[BLING] “you’ve got mail.”
“Hey how ’bout that. An e-mail from the dating site. Someone actually wants to talk to me.”
[Deist starts with the pic and then looks at her basic overview]
“wow… she’s cute. And she wants to talk to me?…wow. ok, hmmm… let’s see.
41 how ’bout that…. same age as me.
She’s a Buddhist?… pretty cool.
no to more kids…. ok
Socially drinks… nice, she’s not a lush.
Smokes: never… very nice.”
[Deist moves a little closer to the monitor]
Five foot ten!!!
She’s five foot ten?!?! What am I gonna do with girl who is 5’10”, I towering at all of five foot three.
So I wrote back and answered her first set of questions but had to add, “Hi Penny! I’m extremely flattered you want to get to know me but, um… Penny? well, um… did you see how tall I am? a) white water rafting”
Next question. “I mean don’t get me wrong Penny. I mean… you’re absolutely gorgeous. But… um, did you SEE how tall I am. d) a hole in the wall with great food.”
She wrote back to answer my series of questions and said, “Jules! You crack me up! I think we might have a lot of things in common even if I am an Amazon : ) ”
She is obviously some sort of whack job who has jumped into the freezing water just a few too many times.
ok, Penny and the rest of you out there, gimmie just a minute… I’m gonna go put on my extra thick wet suit.