More philosophy from my stoner neighbors

I love riding my bicycle… feels like flying sometimes. I’ve got a pretty cool bike, too. Carbon fiber forks, racing seat, decent Shimano derailers, etc. I also have the gear… you know stretchy pants with the puffy butt padding, cycling jerseys, low drag helmet, speedometer that also calculates calories burned and back in December, as a Christmas present to me… I bought cycling shoes, cleatsfor the shoes and pedals. I’ve never ridden with a clipless pedal system but I’ve heard they can increase your speed and efficiency on the bike.

Well we’ve had a pretty mild winter here in Texas but for a lack of time or not feeling up to it or just plain laziness, I just haven’t had the chance to ride and test ’em out. But this past weekend I was able to take advantage of some warm weather and knew I would be able to get at least an hour’s worth of good riding in.

So, I clip in, head down the driveway and I’m off. But Adam, my stoner neighbor and his buddies are outside.

“Joooooles! Heyyyy mannnn. Where ya been?”

I’m thinking it would be rude to just wave and keep going cuz i haven’t really said hi or anything to these guys in weeks… maybe months.

So I slow down heading towards his driveway. I try to pull my foot off the pedal but it isn’t coming off. And why?… it’s not supposed to come off because I’M CLIPPED IN!! And as I slow down even more my mind races trying to comprehend why it is my foot won’t come off the pedal. Please recall… i’ve never ridden with things like this before. The guys are watching, standing up to come over and say hi, and it all seems to start moving in slow motion as I come…

to a dead…


And then fall… right over.


“Whoah! duuuude! You okayyyy?”
“oh yeah, [Deist says slowly trying to get up and grunting a little] I’m fine.”
“Wow… that was pretty heinous. Sure you’re okay?”
“oh yeah, it’s nothing just a little scrape.”

Then Adam says, “well it looks pretty bad. But hey… (he begins to chuckle a little) at least you did that in front of us instead a couple of good lookin girls, right.” His buddies enthusiastically concur raising their beers and take a drink.

And so there I am trying to stand myself back up… looking at the blood trickling out of my knee, a little dazed from bonking my head against his van’s bumper and I think, “maybe my man Adam has a point.”

So… I think the lesson here from the stoners is: scars heal and fade. Emotional trauma is prone to last a lot longer with heavier effects when it involves the opposite sex. Good thing the good looking neighbor girl wasn’t outside at the time. At least I dodged that bullet.

add to ::add to furl ::Digg it ::add to ma.gnolia ::Stumble It! ::add to simpy :: :: ::TailRank

9 responses to “More philosophy from my stoner neighbors

  1. oh, I would have loved to have seen it. Sorry, but it does sound pretty funny. Hey, maybe THE AMAZON would have stopped you from falling with her tallness. Just a thought. 🙂

  2. men are so …

    (is this demasculanizing?)


    They still wanna impress girls a long time after highschool, eh?

    Srry you fell, but it was sure funny how you wrote it.

  3. of course we do. I would say in everything we do. That’s why often times we look like morons.

    and your comment isn’t demasculat…

    de sac atizing.
    nut cutting.
    nope… none of those. (that’s a hard word to say.)

  4. And while you are indeed you are fortunate that you didn’t humiliate yourself in front of any girls, you probably shouldn’t think too long about the stoned chuckles your friends are going to get out of your fall. “Dude. Did you see the look on his face?” “Yeah, like whoa. I mean, the little dude was up, and then he was like on the ground. I mean, I was like, dude, where’d he go?” “Hand me a beer, will ya.” “Sure. What were we talking about?”

  5. Well, i hadn’t thought about it at all until you mentioned it. Thanks LB!

  6. Sorry. 😦

    We’re still hand twins, aren’t we?

  7. oh my god LB! i’m glad i wasn’t taking a drink of my Dr Pepper right then. It certainly would have come out my nose. You make me laugh.

    And yesss. I guess we’re still hand twins…

    for now.

    I’m playin around with the idea of my own domain name. There are some really, really cool wordpress themes out there. Like this one.

    I’d feel like a pirate every time I was blogging.

  8. Warning!!!
    Clipless pedals are very dangerous.
    I’ve been riding bicycles continuously since I was 5. Have even commuted to work year-round in suburb north of NYC, Had been using Shimno clipless pedals for about 10 years and had several occasions when I couldn’t release from the pedal and dumped over. The last time, at age 58, caused my right hip to fracture. I needed 2 surgeries and 6 months of rehab. After the accident I found out about two other cyclists who suffered hip fractures because they couldn’t release from their pedals.
    Needless to say I took them off my Trek and will never use them again.
    The Pain was not worth the gain.

  9. Pingback: So what’s happened in a year? | a UU Deist in Texas

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