a postscript to something more formal

p.s. – On a more personal note…You and I have an unusual anniversary coming up in a couple of weeks. The length of time that we’ve been apart will exceed the time we were together. I don’t know why that is such a milestone in my mind but it has affected me and made me sad the closer it comes.

So much can happen in five years. Complete and total transformation can happen in as little as five years. Definitely transformations have happened for me and L. … spiritually, emotionally and physically.

I feel quite in touch with The Divine, more so than ever in my life. I guess it’s been a couple of years now that L. and I can talk about memories of you and the kids without either one of us having our eyes well up or full blown crying. In fact, we sometimes laugh when remembering. I guess we have healed. And she is doing well and has grown up to be a rather brilliant and beautiful girl.

I wonder…

I wonder… if you ever think of me. I wonder if the kids think of me. And I wonder what you think of the relationship we had. For you, does our time together represent just a blink… a few seconds on the clock of an entire lifetime, a faint memory or was it meaningful. I often wonder what you think of what we had.

love always, me

~~~

I’ve only played this song in public a handful of times since I wrote it early in 2005. If I thought about it long enough I could probably count on one hand the number. It’s been cathartic playing it privately, as well as other songs I’ve written, and I think it’s brought me to a place where I can actually share it with others now.

I played it at a songcircle gathering once and a friend said, “you know… you’re not gonna get many dates if you start playing that song for audiences.” : )

Maybe she’s right… but it’s not a bad song and I think I’ve healed. I believe I’ll start sharing it.
(please forgive my guitar being out of tune. I dropped it a few weeks ago and cracked the neck… thought i was gonna barf when it happened. It hasn’t been the same since. Of course there’s not really an excuse for my voice being out of tune except that I just can’t sing. : )

[uuDeist hits “Publish”]

[splashcast DATJ2328OF]
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9 responses to “a postscript to something more formal

  1. Julian, you are a terrific singer! Where have you been hiding that singing voice from all of us readers? I’m glad you decided to share this song.

  2. hey guys… thanks a bunch!

    thanks for the kind words Shelby. I was a music major in college but I was an trumpet major though and for good reason. I couldn’t carry a tune in a bucket. I kinda have a hard time with it still so I hide this voice in my shower and in my vehicle behind my tinted windows. 🙂

  3. I enjoyed your song, jules. Now I have to go hide in the bathroom while I cry at work. 😉

    Look for a post a little later today. I’ve recently met someone and I’ve been thinking a bit about your letter and song you shared.

  4. awww… NM! I didn’t mean to make anyone cry but it’s a really nice compliment. 🙂 Thanks!

  5. Loved the letter, loved it. So perfectly worded, so emotive. And this song, oh of course you can sing, beautifully, and write lyrics and music. There’s stuff not as good as this topping the charts all the time. Go Julian 🙂

  6. Thanks Jo. Thank you for the kind words.

  7. (((Jules))) it’s a wonderful piece. You’re a wonderful soul….

  8. big hugs to you, too, Grace. Thank you for stopping by. It’s so good to see you here.

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