as one dies another is born

When I was in high school i had quite a few friends, mostly because I was in the band, and that time in my life holds fond memories for me. I’m fortunate in that regard because I know a lot of people whose high school memories are ones of angst, dislike mixed with feelings of inferiority and inability to fit in.

But being a band geek, i had a tribe of accepting friends who never made me feel like the dork I really was…. perhaps “still am” is more accurate.

But there were four girls who were not in the band that I also ran around with and they accepted me into their little circle. One overweight, rather bubbly and quasi popular girl…Lisa T. One very overweight, very bubbly and not so popular girl… Dena. One very tall (six feet) lanky diamond in the rough drill team member… Lisa L. and another drill team member Phyliss, who had moderate success breaking into the popular crowd until she moved away our junior year.

I haven’t been very good at keeping in touch with these women although they have maintained contact relatively well between themselves. They say i fell off the face of the earth after college which I guess is kind of true since I have only seen them about once every five years.

We recently had one of these mini reunions and through the exchange of emails addresses and phone numbers I have been able to keep in touch with them much better. And so email jokes, prayer chains, pictures of kids’ birthday parties, pictures of pets, vacations and milestones periodically pop up in my inbox.

I received an email just recently from Lisa T. that was a forward of an original message subjected: “update on Dena.” It was a message originally sent by Dena on June 25 that I never received.

My heart fell, my stomach did flips and I thought i was going to be sick. I have been so worried about receiving news that Dena might be in the hospital or something. I mean she is so extremely overweight that I can’t help but think it puts a strain on her heart.

and it was
about a strain on her heart.

Not because of the burden of her weight but because her almost 20 year marriage is ending…. it is dying.

I feel so bad for her. I feel so very bad for her that I want to race out to Austin and give her a hug and just be there with her. I know she needs her friends right now but other obligations prevent from being able to do that. I know she is hurting as her marriage writhes in pain.

But in some sort of karmic, circle of life, reincarnation-esque sort of way….

[Deist says somewhat timidly] I met someone….
It’s hard for me as i write this to feel joyful comparing the budding of a new relationship to one that is ending

but I am happy….
she makes me happy although I am cautiously optimistic.

I met her the day Dena sent the original message. And at the risk of putting the blogger’s curse on it (you know what I’m talking about. Posting about a new found relationship only to put the hex of doom on it by doing so), I am going to say…

well, I am going to say…. I’m cautiously optimistic and and curious to see what becomes of me and The Deist-ette from Texas.

Yes, my friends, believe it or not (i can hardly believe it myself) she holds the same view of God and walks a similar spiritual path (she has buddhism, UUism, christian and earth centered sprinkles all mixed into her walk) AND she’s from Texas.

Wish me luck and please pray for my friend Dena that she makes it through this tough time in her life with resilience.

“in this friendship starting there seems to be a thread
of something that i recognize from love’s beautiful fabric.”

© julian, 2006
heart has found a friend
[splashcast c KIDC4804JQ]

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9 responses to “as one dies another is born

  1. I hope your Monday goes better. And I’ll say a little Indigo Girls Prayer for you, “where there was one, let there be two.”

  2. Hope you have a case of Perma-grin as well.

    Be well. Namaste.

  3. Oh, wishing you lotsa lotsa luck.

    Love, J

  4. thanks Jo and uuMomma! I love that song by the Indigo Girls by the way.

    And yes, MelonGirl… I’ve tried using a green scrubby on my face in the shower but this cat-that-ate-the-canary grin won’t go away. :mrgreen:

  5. Oh my first NM and now you. There must be something in the air besides stifling heat and smoke. I wish you the best with that. Whoever she is, she is a very lucky girl to have met you.

    Maybe you can’t run out to Austin to give your friend a hug, but you can certainly do it through email or the phone. Sure, sometimes it feels awkward to go “hey, sure it’s been 20 years since we last made contact, but I wanted to know I’ve been thinking about you.” But, I’m sure she would appreciate it.

    Go get ’em, tiger.

  6. Even when you’re in the first flush of new romance you’re thinking of others…

    Wishing you tremendous happiness, Jules.

  7. I know! that’s really cool about Melon Girl isn’t it! Big hugs NM!! And thanks LB, for saying she is lucky to have met me. She has said that to me on a couple of occasions and I’m humbled by that. But thanks for those kind words.

    And thank you, too, Am! Thanks for the well wishes. Of course you know I’ll always have special place in my heart for you. : )

    i like writing this. i ❤ Amuirin

  8. Yes it is cool for me, but also confusing as all heck. I feel like I’m on a wacky rollercoaster because of the weird wiring in my head.

    I’m just trying to enjoy the ride, you know?

  9. I had a similar thing in high school but it was chorus for me rather than band. (In fact, I just wrote about mine.) I totally get it, though. It was great to meet you on my blog the other day. I’ve been poking around a bit here, and I didn’t know what a deist is, either, hmmm. I have been a Universalist for some time, not a Unitarian, though, although I have attended their services. You have a great philosophy and outlook, and I wish you well in your current endeavors! I send light to your marriage-ending friend as well.

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