The end is the beginning

I had a dream last night. A really weird, scenes-that-don’t-go-together, blotchy, creepy, nonsensical, heart-sinks-in-my-stomach, Julia-Roberts-naked, post-apocalyptic, fighting-in-Iraq, helicopters, i-go-on-a-boat-ride, disturbing, scary, Tom-Hanks’-suicide, pizza-at-9pm-induced… [deep breath] dream.

I told The Deistette about it when I woke up and when I came to the end she actually winced and was rather genuine when she said, “THAT… is disturbing.”

Makes me wonder what the heck my head is filtering during the day that made it decide to let it all out during this dream. By the way…. julia roberts…. in my dream…

is SO hot naked.

Anyway… so Lazy Buddhist put up a post about a week ago describing her anxiety on participating in NaNoWriMo and she received some really encouraging comments telling her she should do it. I commented as well and wrote on her wall that if she participated in the annual event I would do it with her.

I heard about NaNoWriMo (oh, for new bloggers who stumble on this and haven’t heard of it, NaNoWriMo stands for National Novel Writing Month) last year a little after I started blogging and it kinda stuck in my head. It sounds like a really intense challenge. Also a member at my church was participating in it. She seemed kinda stressed and filled with anxiety about it but not in a bad way… kinda in that “standing-in-line-for-a-roller-coaster” sort of anxiety when you hear everyone screaming and yelling in fear but delight all at the same time.

There is a similar event that I discovered right as it was happening.  Found it on Discontinuous Permafrost’s place and it’s called FAWM… February Album Writing Month. It challenges songwriters to write 14 songs in 28 days. I might try that one, too…. who knows.

So i go to check out LB’s place this morning and what do i see. I see her little participant badge.


I don’t really read. I never really have so I don’t really know how a novel is constructed. I don’t really know what 50,000 words looks like. I don’t know the techniques writers use to develop characters, story lines, flow, etc. I don’t think of myself as having a really deep vocabulary. I use a lot of dots when i write… which i don’t think is something one would normally see in a novel. Do dots count as a word.

Anyway… i promised my friend LB I would do it with her and so I find myself… as with many recent events in my life, backing up into something I wasn’t quite prepared for. (hey! i just made that up. I think i’m gonna start the novel off something like that!)

yep, I’m jumpin into the NaNoWriMo fray. And although I just by some miracle found the beginning sentence of my novel, the reason I titled this post “The end is the beginning” is because after I saw that LB was participating I was wondering “what the hell am I gonna write about?” and I decided the end of my dream would be a good way to end the book. The first thing I had was the end.

At least now I’ve got the beginning, too. All I’ve got to do is fill in the middle.

It begins Nov 1st at midnight. It ends Nov 30th 11:59:59pm

wish me and LB luck!


7 responses to “The end is the beginning

  1. Woohoo! Actually, now there are three of us. Amurin is in too.

    Your link back on my blog didn’t work, so I don’t know who you are NaNo-wise, so we can buddy up. I’m going by, what else, LazyBuddhist.

  2. lol…. lol ‘Julia Roberts-post-apocalyptic..’ Why do those phrases go together so well?

    The sign up e-mail they send pretty much gives a tip about not worrying if you don’t know what to write… just wing it.

    But you can talk yourself out of it if you want, we have two weeks to shame you back into it. 🙂


    I’m signed up as amuirin, and you’re both buddied. This’ll be fun!

  3. And then there were three.

    🙂 hee… shame me back into it.
    Shame is a pretty powerful motivator for me.

    it’s why i love my mom so much.

    KIDDING!… kidding momma deist!

  4. Jules, I think the concept of backing into something is very much worth exploring as an introductory theme, mainly because it’s something you say you’ve done before.

    So you could jot down some notes on that and maybe develop some themes on how many times you’ve done it and what the consequences where, etc.

    I slept intermittently last night, which means I keep waking up and remembering my dreams. I do not ususally have bad dreams. Although Mrs. Ombud is amused by the fact that in my dreams something often goes wrong and I’m trying to fix it — and things keep getting wronger.

    But last night I had a borderline nightmare. In a dangerous house where the rooms expanded, contracted, and things kept shifting dangerously, I was trying to get a group of people out.

    Mrs. Ombud reads when she cannot sleep, with a little penlight that attaches to her book, and that may be what woke me — her moving/turning on light, etc.

    I woke up enough to begin telling her as much as I’ve described above, then thought, ‘why am I telling her?’ and stopped.

    I mean, why spread the fear?

    I do have this theory on how we dream about what concerns us; that dreaming is a coping mechanism, to re-hash things and go over them. Perhaps an evolutionary form of practice; if that which scares us happens again, perhaps we can get it right. Should we confront it again or

    even back into it.

  5. Jules – just remember this is supposed to be a fun kind of crazy, not the kind of crazy that ruins relationships, gets you fired at work, or make you loose tons of sleep (a little is OK). I’ll still love ya whether you participate or not, or finish or not.

    If you can get your hands on a copy of “No Plot, No Problem” that should probably alleviate some of your concerns.

  6. Thanks Ombud. Been meaning to respond to your thoughts on this. That’s really good stuff. Seems like the concept of this thing is evolving quite a bit as I roll it around in my head but it seems to be staying with the “backing up into something” I need to noodle around with it some more. Gotta go. The Deistette is giving me the look that says, “you promised we’d watch a movie tonight.

    LB… i think the two hours a day might be spent after midnight and before 6 am. [sigh]

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