a dream the other night

I woke up Monday morning from a rather weird, odd, cooky, dream.
I was making plans for a wedding… but not to the Deistette, although we’re currently engaged. No I was marrying someone else. Someone who goes to my church. And all this with The Deistette’s knowledge.

In fact, the whole thing was some sort of scheme… some sort of plan that would benefit all of us somehow. Even the people in my congregation knew the wedding being planned was a scam and they were all in on making it appear real.

I couldn’t figure out why though. What was the purpose. Why was I willing to forge a marriage. I still can’t figure it out.

It reminded me of question I heard once though. I was on a road trip with some friends and one of the guys pulled out this book that had about 300 or so questions that were supposed spark conversation or debate. One that really stuck with me was this one:

After having dinner at a restaurant you’ve never visited or probably will go back to, the waiter brings you the bill and you notice he/she forgot to add the dessert which was about five dollars. What do you do? Do you tell the waiter of the oversight or do you simply give a bigger tip than you would have… covering or coming close to the five dollar difference.

After hearing his answer (and he isn’t someone who I would say is remotely a spiritual giant) I was rather ashamed of my answer. He said he would tell the waiter. Not because he was worried the waiter might have to pay for the dessert should the mistake get discovered but because he didn’t want to have to look at himself in the mirror knowing he sold his integrity and ethics for five bucks.

I’ve thought about that conversation a lot since last summer and turned it over in my head probably a hundred times.

I do not want to sell my integrity or my ethics for a lousy five bucks.

For some reason I was selling my integrity in this dream. That’s what it felt like. During the dream, I thought, “oh shit, I didn’t get her to sign the prenup. Is she playin me? Is that what this is about? What am I gaining? Is someone leaving her an inheritance if she gets married before 35 and we’re splitting it? Is this for a reality show? Why am I selling my ethical beliefs of marriage and what am I getting to do it!”

I never did quite figure out why I was planning the scam marriage in my dream and why The Deistette approved because she would never in a million years give in to something like that. It must have been big.

At church on Sunday someone said, “if Jesus were around he’d take us to the movies.” It was an allusion to Jesus and his way of teaching through stories. Many people believe them to be literally true tales. There are others who believe The Master was teaching from made up scenarios.  Either way… the statement was said because whether or not movies are based on truth or not, there can be a lesson learned.

How big is big enough to sell your good name? How big is big enough to sell your integrity… your morals?  Hm. I don’t know. I like to think I’m a pretty good guy and I would keep to my morals and compass longer than most. I guess everyone has a price though.

Perhaps Jesus would take us to this movie when it comes to teaching how to answer that question.

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One response to “a dream the other night

  1. Hey there, you’re my swap at the Claw. Checking out your blog to see what you might like, especially music. Liked the short film you posted.

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