The Deistette gave me a pretty bad scare about a week ago… a really big scare.
She almost died.
She has high blood pressure and on occasion her heart gets extremely elevated. She has meds for both but doesn’t take them on a regular basis for one, because she doesn’t have health insurance anymore and to get refills would cost money we don’t have. And two… her blood pressure stays relatively ok half the time. So she takes them when she thinks she really needs them to bring either her BP or heart rate down should it get pretty high that day because she monitors her blood pressure and heart rate at least twice, if not three times a day.
Well, we were in a rush, we were hungry and trying to remember stuff to bring with us for errands to run later. So she forgot about having taken her blood pressure medicine three hours earlier and after checking her heart rate, took the heart med that lowers it. Not a good thing to do.
About an hour later she started sweating buckets and the color drained from her face in a matter of about five minutes. She was cold… really cold and began going in and out of consciousness. She was babbling a little about how she forgot about the BP medicine she took. As I raced down the freeway sometimes in excess of 90 mph she was whispering, “i don’t want to die. I don’t want to leave you.”
When I ran into the ER receiving area I was carrying her and I could feel her get heavier as she began losing consciousness again. She would come to and then fall heavy again in my arms.
The ER admittance personnel didn’t seem to understand the urgency of her situation until (while still carrying her) started banging on the button to try and open the automatic doors. I didn’t know what to do. They wouldn’t take her.
I thought I was going to lose her and that thought really brings things into perspective… for the both of us. We’ve taken a look at what we view as truly important but mostly what is not.
We feel extremely lucky. We’ve been given a second chance. We’ve been given a reprieve.
When you’re that close to death’s door begging and pleading with death not to take your loved one away, dignity and pride are not a character trait one possesses at that moment. It is painful. It’s painful to feel so helpless.
But somewhere in my request for Emmie not to be taken away back home, grace laid on me softly and right now I am listening to her tap her computer mouse and tell me about the latest eco website that she is bookmarking. Just to be here sitting with her is…
well, it’s one of those things that is truly important.
The Deistette begins shutting down her computer and says, “Hey honey, wanna watch that movie now that we’ve been sitting on for a few days.”
“Sounds good sweetie. Sounds really good.”