it’s in the staying there

Yesterday evening The Deistette and I got back from one of the longest stretches of days of vacation without her two boys that I can remember. We were gone for four whole days and three nights! It’s sad that the excitement is genuine over a measly three night outing in Granbury, Tx and Dallas which are about four and a half hours away from us.

As many kids are this time of year, the boys were on Spring Break and had left last weekend to be with their father who lives about an hour east of Dallas. We took advantage of them being gone by… well, it’s sad to say but resting and sleeping and basking in the silence. But on Thursday morning just before lunch we headed out toward Granbury to visit with her aunt and uncle as well as her grandfather.

It was absolutely wonderful. And I hate to say it but it was entirely because the boys weren’t there to drive up the anxiety of her already anxiety stricken aunt.

The main reason we left Casa Deist for a few days though wasn’t to visit her family or head toward Dallas to pick up the boys after their visit with their shit-for-brains father. Nope… it was to celebrate a mile marker of ours.

the-deistette-and-deist

Taken near Post, Tx
Sept 13, 2008

On the first day of Spring, the Deistette and I marked five years of being married. It’s been a bumpy ride. We’ve had one stressful event after another starting with the very first day she arrived here. We set out from the panhandle of Texas, driving a U-Haul with all her stuff, headed on our way down here to the Gulf Coast Plains the very weekend that tens of thousands of people were headed in the opposite direction. It was the weekend Hurricane Ike landed… same day that pic above was taken. We came home to find our bedroom leaking severely. Two days later Lehman Brothers filed for bankruptcy and the The Great Recession was underway.

It’s pretty much been one big cluster fuck and shit storm ever since. The whole thing has constantly been us taking two steps forward on 1.9 steps back. But here we are… hanging on. We’ve been weathering the storm that life and sometimes each other has placed against our marriage. There have certainly been some good times here and there but for the most part… like, 90%…  our time has been standing defiantly against our turmoils.

Will our marriage last? I’m no fortune teller and lately the only thing I’d be willing to answer with utmost certainty is us lasting one or two more days. But then after that ask me again and I’d answer with certainty another one or two days, and then again and again and again. Next thing you know there could be another five years we’re celebrating. I will say this, too. It seems like with each blow our marriage takes, it makes our grasp on each other’s hands, as we face the storm winds, that much harder to pull apart.

We didn’t go away on a measly three-night trip in north Texas to celebrate our last five years of marriage. We didn’t go to celebrate the time we’ve been together or our falling in love.  No, we went to celebrate “the staying there.”  We celebrated that fact that we’re still hanging on.

its in the staying there

“Love isn’t in the falling. It’s in the staying there.”
The anniversary card I gave The Deistette
and her bridal portrait in the background

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