Category Archives: funny

Yay!… it’s Wednesday


This is a postscript to what I wrote in the post below.

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Getting into the holiday spirit


Feels like forever since I’ve posted anything. It’s been about two weeks but it feels like more. Of course with The Deistette constantly going to my blog and saying, “WHAT! nothing new! What do you do all day at work?”  : )

I don’t really have an explanation for not dropping a post here or there.  Nothing drastic going on like what happened last year. No… just kinda busy and not really inspired to write.  Speaking of… NaNoWriMo was a complete failure for me.  I kinda had a story but I just wasn’t feelin’ it.  Sorry Am and LB.  Feel like I let you down a little.

Anyway… so today I stayed home with The Little Man again.  He’s got a nasty dry cough going on along with fever.   I’m worried that we’re all gonna get it.  Actually, I can tell I’ve got it.  Kinda feels like strep.  What sucks is that we can’t afford for The Deistette not to go to work but more than likely it’ll spread through the house and she’ll have to take time off and lose a couple two or three days of pay.

Anyway, as I was trying to keep him entertained throughout the afternoon, he and I put this together with the help of JibJab.com.  We decided it was time to help people (and ourselves) get into the holiday spirit.

Happy Holidays everyone from my familia to yours!!!!

Oh, and so you know who’s who….
(l to r) The Little Man, me, The Deistette, Tank and Little Fawn

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unlearned behavior


I remember when Little Fawn (that’s my daughter’s nickname) was a baby she did something similar to what this kid does on this video. This one has been making the rounds on the internet so I’m sure by just seeing the pic you know it’s that little baby that starts dancing to Beyoncé’s video.

She’s not the only baby I’ve seen do this. I remember my ex-wife’s niece did this very same thing when she was just learning to stand. She crawled her way over to the coffee table and stood up to watch whatever music video was playing and began bouncing and moving her legs. I thought it was pretty amazing. I mean no one taught her this. No one showed her to move to music. She just did it.

I’m convinced that it’s something about being human. I think it’s part of what makes us human. When we hear music we move our body… even if it’s just a little tap of the toe, strumming our fingers or bobbing our head.

OR

what this guy and his buddy do at some poor girl’s quinceañera. Be advised do not have coffee or soda in your mouth when you click play. Your monitor will thank you later.

C’mon LB!!!… Feel the music honey! Dance!!
(my friend Lazy Buddhist claims she doesn’t like to dance but I know she’s tapping her toe a little as she watches this video)

Happy Diwali y’all


From Wikipedia:

Diwali or Dīpāvali (Sanskrit: a row of lamps[1]) is a significant festival in Hinduism, Buddhism, Sikhism, and Jainism, and an official holiday in India.[2] Adherents of these religions celebrate Diwali as the Festival of Lights. They light diyas—cotton string wicks inserted in small clay pots filled with oil—to signify victory of good over the evil within an individual.

And now… a song celebrating Diwali.

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The Deist… a nominee for the Darwin awards?


There’s a joke that yankees will sometimes say about Texans. It goes kinda like this.

“hey, what are last words you’ll hear from a Texan about to die?”
“i don’t know… what?”
“Hey. Hold my beer and watch this.”

ok, I’ll admit, that’s kinda funny. Probably because there is some truth to it.

What does that have to do with me and being nominated for a Darwin.

This story is dedicated to my recent visitor Mike over at I’m Intelligently Designed, who it seems his sole purpose is to discredit evolutionists. Mike… this one’s for you. Survival of the fittest and natural selection is no theory buddy. It’s the God’s honest truth! (irony in that statement intended.) : )

~~~~~~~~

Well, believe it or not, I still have some damage from Hurricane Ike, which rolled through town almost a year ago. There’s a piece of 1×4 that failed to get fixed that is a piece of facia that attaches to the roof on the second floor.

Well, over the past several weekends I’ve been trying to get on the roof so I can measure it and put a new one in it’s place but with no success. And it isn’t because I had a beer while trying to do this, Ombudsben. The pitch of my roof is too steep.

Well, I’d finally had enough of my half ass attempts at trying to get on this steep pitched roof and set out with what I thought was an ingenious plan.

So I begin telling The Deistette (for new visitors, The Deistette is my wife) how it all happened Continue reading

a birthday present for Little Fawn


I kinda glazed over the fact that Little Fawn had a birthday a couple of days ago. And it was a big one… at least in Mexican culture it’s a big one: 15.

My baby girl turned 15 on Tuesday. God, I can remember so vividly the day she was born. I’ll have to write about that one later. I had talked with a few friends and even my mom about throwing a big party for her… a quinceanera. But it just wasn’t in the cards.

It’s a pretty big deal when a Mexican girl turns 15. Not having really been raised as a Mexican I couldn’t tell you what that is but apparently it involves dressing the birthday girl in the gaudiest, trashiest dress one can find. Google quinceanera and you’ll see more examples.

Quinceanera Dresses Continue reading

a little comic relief


Scene: At the office in the accounting clerk section. Four clerks tapping away crunching numbers

Jules steps in stage right: Hey who made the coffee this morning. It’s pretty good.

Lilly: Thanks, it was me.

Jules: Good coffee. Tastes just like I like my women… strong and bitter. [Julian begins laughing at his own joke]

Lilly: [gives a sarcastic sympathy laugh] ha ha… ha.

Jules: C’mon… these are jokes… you know jokes. For a Monday morning. A little relief from the day. Get it?… strong and bitter.

😐  [blink blink blink]

Priscilla: Do I need to call Emmie?

a morning vignette


Deistette: Ugh!… I’m running late! Where is that concealer I just bought yesterday. [Emilie whizzes past Jules in the living room. Rifles through a plastic bag and whizzes back to the restroom]

Deist: Concealer? How much is that gonna set us back! Why do you need concealer anyway. [jules sits on the stairs doing… nothing]

Deistette: So I can cover up these dark circles I have from being tired, overworked and running this household and so people don’t think you’re beating me!

Deist: [jules scrambles trying to think of what to say next]…. you’re so pretty!

Happy Monday y’all!

file this in the WTF file


so the kiddo and I are at church this weekend, right.

A bunch of the little ones are in the fellowship hall and chasing a few of the older ones.
I see one of the younger boys tickling Little Fawn and she runs up to me and says, “daddeeee… William is trying to tickle me.”

I giggle and laugh a little and say, “i don’t think he’s trying to tickle you, i think he’s trying to touch your boobs.”

She quickly admonishes me by saying, “Daddy! No he’s not… he’s only eight… a little boy.” then she adds, “Besides, even he was he wouldn’t know what to do with them.”

[Deist thinks to himself, “what the f*#@ just happened here]