Category Archives: love

it’s in the staying there


Yesterday evening The Deistette and I got back from one of the longest stretches of days of vacation without her two boys that I can remember. We were gone for four whole days and three nights! It’s sad that the excitement is genuine over a measly three night outing in Granbury, Tx and Dallas which are about four and a half hours away from us.

As many kids are this time of year, the boys were on Spring Break and had left last weekend to be with their father who lives about an hour east of Dallas. We took advantage of them being gone by… well, it’s sad to say but resting and sleeping and basking in the silence. But on Thursday morning just before lunch we headed out toward Granbury to visit with her aunt and uncle as well as her grandfather.

It was absolutely wonderful. And I hate to say it but it was entirely because the boys weren’t there to drive up the anxiety of her already anxiety stricken aunt.

The main reason we left Casa Deist for a few days though wasn’t to visit her family or head toward Dallas to pick up the boys after their visit with their shit-for-brains father. Nope… it was to celebrate a mile marker of ours.

the-deistette-and-deist

Taken near Post, Tx
Sept 13, 2008

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brother can you spare a dime?


Hello friendly blog peeps, peepettes and casual visitors.

Today’s post is asking for a HUGE favor.

If you look to the right… right next to the title of this post you’ll see a picture. If you click it, the link will take you to my page on the Lone Star Chapter of The National Multiple Sclerosis Society’s website.

I’m writing about this because I want to let you know I’m riding my bicycle half way across Texas in an effort to raise funds for researchers to find a cure for MS. I’m riding in the 2009 MS 150 Bike Tour from Houston to Austin. It’s about 160 miles or so over two days.

I’m do it for two reasons. One… believe it or not, I find it fun and of course, challenging. (i’ve ridden this ride before) Two… I know I am extremely lucky to be able to move my body on my own and so I feel an obligation to help.

I want to help researchers find a cure for folks who don’t move so well because of this disease.

I’m no scientist. I don’t know much about this disease or what it will take to end it. But I can pedal my bike and ask people to donate to my ride so the smart guys can figure a way to help those who are afflicted with this disease.

So I hope you will.

I hope you can spare ten bucks… or five bucks… or three or even one.

I know five bucks or even one doesn’t seem like a lot but it all adds up.

When I was in the Marine Corps I learned a saying from the grunts… “ounces make pounds.” I first heard it when my unit attached with some grunts for training and we were going on a 13 mile hike carrying all our gear on our back.

A few of the guys took us “non-hackers” aside and said, “ounces make pounds, Marine. Let me see your gear.” They proceeded to show us how stripping every tiny piece of non-essential crap added up to a lot of weight.

“Ounces make pounds” folks. I know times are tough. Hell, I barely have two nickels to rub together but if you could donate whatever you can…

well, every little bit adds up to a lot.

an absence


I haven’t been around here in a while…  I’ve been absent.

I’ve been reading a little and making a comment now and again but I haven’t written in more than a month… close to six weeks or so now.

I’ve wanted to though. I’ve had quite a few things pop in my head to write about but I feel like unless I write about what happened in November and get it off my chest I just can’t post anything else.

I mean, when i started this blog I thought it would just be me reading this. I had no idea people would stumble on this and take a look and that I would find myself in a little community of people I  feel close to.  It didn’t even occur to me that I would find a community of writers who I look forward to reading about… you know, reading about their lives and that they would want to know what’s happening with me.

I was also hoping that maybe some day, my daughter would find this and read about me and maybe learn a little about her dad that I didn’t tell her when she was young.

Hi Little Fawn.  You out there reading this?   : )

Anyway…  so with my little blogging community of friends  and daughter in mind I feel compelled to write about what happened to me and The Deistette several weeks ago.

By the way, The Deistette is here, too.  Say hi Emilie.

Deistette:  hi everyone.

Deist: Sooooo…. what do you think, Emmie.  I guess we could start with a little synopsis and get everyone up to speed.

Deistette:  ok

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road trip!!!


A little more than three weeks ago The Deistette and I spent about 14 hours on the road together as we left Amarillo with all her stuff packed in a U-Haul and headed to Houston. (by the way, I found out she’s a Jew.  A Jewish Deistette… do they really make those?  Huh, who knew.)

Coincidentally it was the same weekend Hurricane Ike decided to come into town. I wanted to post this right after we got back but I’ve been kinda busy with work stuff and church stuff and trying to unscrew my house from what was latent storm damage. The appearance of mold has confirmed water got in somehow . Continue reading

a mad lib poem by The Deist


My blog peep Melon Girl, found this from another blogger and posted her results. This is quasi meme-ish and so I thought I’d give it a whirl. I read her poem a couple of days ago but wanted to wait so I could get her example out of my head and attempt something as fresh as possible. You know… cuz it seemed like i already had the answers to the questions.

I’m quite pleased with my results. I had to tweak the conjugation of the original poem by Rainer Maria Rilke for my words to fit but besides that I changed nothing from my first attempt. Seeing how it turned out the only thing i would change is “dancing” to “screaming” to continue the opposites or balanced theme from the previous lines.

Pretty cool… thanks Little Miss French Horn. Continue reading

a little live music this weekend


I went and saw a wonderful duet at a favorite watering hole of mine. This husband and wife team are absolutely amazing. I thought of Amuirin and the really cool musicians she introduces us to now and again.

Thought I would reciprocate.

So fellow bloggers, wonderful blog peeps and blog stumblers, I present…. andi and i performing “love never fails”.

an update on The Amazon


I’ve been meaning to post something about this for a little while since Jo and LB said they wanted details on what happens as I dive into the fray of the dating pool.

About a week ago (the day before Valentine’s Day) Good Morning America did a report on eHarmony. Here’s how the story intros:

eHarmony has about 19 million single members looking for love, and a national Harris poll found eHarmony’s site is responsible for about 44,000 weddings a year and more than 100,000 babies born so far from the site’s cybermatchmaking.

Pretty wild, huh! No Jo, I don’t hear wedding bells. 🙂

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The iInspiration Mutant Meme


i am the worst meme replier, answerer responder-er.
I think it’s because I think way too much about it but this might be one I can actually do without hurting my brain too much. Amuirin morphed this one from a post by Bibliomom. Here goes the iTunes-kyped meme.

How many total songs in your iTunes?
492

Sort by song title – first and last…
A.D.D.I.D.A.S. (Korn) to Young (Nickel Creek)

Sort by time – shortest and longest…
Pantala Naga Pampa :40 by Dave Matthews Band to 10,000 Days (wings part2) by Tool

Sort by Album – first and last…
At the Point (live) by Matt Nathanson to 10,000 by Tool

Sort by Artist – first and last…
Alice in Chains through The Wailin Jennys

Top 8 played songs…
this was a surprise, the top 8 were all from the Duhks’ debut album.
But the most played from that album was:

1. The Wagoner’s Lad (The Duhks )

then the list followed with;
2. New Day (Anna Hutto)
3. Hide Me Away (Anna Hutto)
4. London Pram (Jennifer Sherrill)
5. I Feel (The Sundays)
6. The Stone (DMB)
7. Goodbye (The Sundays)
8. Love Is a Burden (The Hudsons)

Which one of these songs would you listen to when writing a poem?
London Pram (Jennifer Sherrill)

Which one of these songs would you get hot and heavy to?
The Stone (DMB)

Find the following words. How many songs show up?
Sex: 0, Death: 2 (dead – 2), Love: 14, Home: 2, Boy: 2, Girl: 2

First 8 songs that come up on Party Shuffle…
1. Love Never Fails (Andi and I)
2. Love (The Sundays)
3. Good God (Korn)
4. Chi (Korn)
5. Hide Me Away (Anna Hutto)
6. I Saw (Matt Nathanson)
7. Curve of the Earth (Matt Nathanson)
8. My Dad’s set at the Open Mic (i recorded this when we played together on Father’s Day about three years ago)

Which of these songs would you write a love letter to?
My dad’s set (in it he sang a song he used to sing to serenade my mom)

Which of these would you dance to?
Love (The Sundays)

I don’t really watch or listen to anything
while I’m tapping out a post. I’d never post anything!
So… the video I would dance to is below. Love by The Sundays.

Oh, how I love Harriet Wheeler!

Amuirin!… to the dance floor please!
B-mom? Matt? Put your french horn down MelonGirl. Anyone else? The dance floor is open!

there goes the bride


I have a friend who is getting married. Married to someone she met four months ago. I’ve had a crush on said friend (maybe, crush is too light of a word… loved this friend of mine for three years.) Anyway, I’ve known, pretty much from the beginning, it would never evolve into anything more than a friendship because of our differing views on spirituality.

I never told her how I felt about her for fear of losing a friend but about two months ago I thought, “what the heck” and I sent her a text message one night that said, “Dare You To Move is on the radio. Reminds me of the concert we went to. Wish you had picked me.” I haven’t heard from her since.
So a few days ago I e-mailed her asking how the wedding plans were coming along, had she settled on a date, did she find a place yet and did she still want me to take the pictures.

Her lack of detail leads me to believe my services are no longer required that I am not invited and that perhaps I have lost a friend.

Yes the big day is coming soon, John and I are getting married Nov 30th and will be on our honeymoon the following week.

You and I have been friends for a long time. So when I got your text message a few weeks ago, it brought up some sad feelings. There was a time that I considered being more than friends with you. I wanted it actually. I wanted to be with you. But I denied the temptation because of my beliefs. The Bible specifically says not to be yoked with someone who is not a believer. So I prayed for you to accept and believe that Jesus is Lord and that He died for your sins. I hoped you would believe. I still do hope for that – even though it is too late for you and me.

Sometimes not saying anything for fear of losing someone is the dumbest thing you can do. It’s hard being a UU sometimes. It’s hard knowing others don’t view you as worthy. “I am human and I need to be loved.”

WARNING: self induced depression-type, pathetically needy, 80s angst, momma-didn’t-hug-me-enough, pre-emo, emo song coming up.

on dreams and lost love (part 2)


Several months ago I saw a story about ABC news reporter Bob Woodruff.

He was the reporter who, along with his camera man, Bob Vogt, was severely injured by a roadside bomb in Iraq. He lay in a coma for a little more than a month. And as doctors and nurses worked to bring him back from his sleep, his wife of 17 years sat by his side holding out hope.

In an interview Bob gave to Larry King he said that when he came out of the coma the first thing he said to his wife, Lee was, “Honey, where’ve you been?” He said it as if she had been gone or left and he had been looking for her.

After hearing the interview and how his wife stood vigil over his bed, I wept. Day after day she would be by his side. She would talk to him, touch his face, tell him stories and hoped that somewhere in there her husband could hear her.

The recent dreams I’ve had of MyLove made think about the ordeal Bob and Lee went through and me and the surreal event of MyLove having left five years ago and being gone. I say surreal because it happened so fast… just within a month. Surreal because it just doesn’t seem like it could possibly happen to us.
My over active imagination had me confess to Lillet, my big sister, “What if I’m in a coma? What if I’m asleep? I mean things have happened to me that I would have never guessed or dreamed would happen to me. In a relatively short time frame, I’ve learned how to make music, I have traveled, I have become religious. Me!… religious. I have dated a Miss Texas contestant, my brother is a convicted felon and I do not have MyLove by my side.”

I continued saying, ” … am I in a coma? Is she holding vigil by my bed and are my dreams of her instances of where she’s almost getting through to me. Are my dreams her talking to me and telling me stories and touching my face. Am I in a Matrix-esque sort of virtual world right now?”

Somebody please wake me…. please wake me.