Category Archives: moral delimma

thoughts on SB1070


Well I have managed to calm down a little from the passage of SB1070 in Arizona and a discussion with my brother in-law (my white brother in-law) who is married to my (Mexican) sister.  I also had some online sparring with a few others about the subject as well that got me a little pissed off.

In all cases, none of us are lawyers nor do we know immigration law.  But we were giving it our best shot.  I even thought I had things nailed down when I told my brother in-law the bill is violation of the Constitution.  I thought it especially ironic that I had to give my him a civics lesson and had to explain what the Fourth Amendment is, although he claims the oath he took to join the Navy to defend the Constitution is a big deal to him still.

Anyway… in discussing as many angles as we could think of, one thing was quite clear.

The discussion was an “us” and “them” mentality.  And the underlying basis (at least in my opinion) of what was coming out of the minds of those I was sparring with was “them” are different from “us” and because of that,  “us” doesn’t like “them”.

You know there are all kinds of posturing and defenses the pro SB1070 folks claim as to why they support Arizona’s decision.  Loss of jobs, drain on the economy, crime is higher, strain on school systems, etc.

The fact is, the cost of illegal immigration according to one study I found here says it’s a wash.  Another here says the costs are minimal.  Now, I’m not saying I am pro illegal aliens.  I’m just showing some sources that discount the claims of those who try to justify their racism with economics.

The really sad thing about the passage of SB 1070 though is the underbelly that has been made visible.  It is a sad testament of those in support of the bill.  The line that has been drawn in the sand and those who stand in support of the bill has shown how we as human beings have not evolved at all.  We have lost sight of whatever religion we follow and the teachings that have told us to care for our fellow man.  We are fearful of those different from us. We lack the capacity to empathize with others and cannot see the savagery we display when we devolve down to our reptilian brain.

THAT, my friends, is the truly ugly aspect of this bill.

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And now… a little comic relief to ease some of the tension.  This is a vid of couple of guys who hop the fence in Arizona.  At about 1:20 is where it gets kinda funny.  My Spanish isn’t very good but from what I can make out of this exchange between these two Mexican fellas goes something like this:

Guy 1 (with camera) “Hey so tell all of us your experience of being over on the other side.”

Guy 2: (the younger guy) oh it felt good. I was even able to speak English for a little bit. It even felt like the tone of my voice changed for a little while.

Ok… maybe it’s just funnier in Spanish.

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regret


I wrote about one of my dearest, bestest friends of my life after she got married. She is a wonderful, beautiful, caring sweet woman and I’m certain she is one of my soulmates.

She and her husband were married in May of last year and they got pregnant in mid-January. Although both, in their early 40’s, they knew trying to have a baby at this age might pose some risks and have its challenges.

But she wants a baby. She wants a baby so bad.

About eight years ago, she half jokingly asked if I would help her have a baby. I told her there was no way that was gonna happen. First of all I was married and secondly if there was a baby comin’ it was gonna be made the old fashioned way and I didn’t see that happening… AT ALL!

I told my wife (my wife at that time) about the conversation we’d had where Paula had made this ridiculous suggestion and my wife said it wasn’t so ridiculous at all. My wife, was an amazing person. She was surprisingly supportive of the idea and said if that was something we could give her (“we” because it would certainly need her support as well) that we should do that for her.

Well, we didn’t. I thought about it. I actually thought about having sex with my long-time best friend to try and have a baby with her but I just… couldn’t.

Anyway… She had boyfriends along the way and a couple who even talked of marriage but nothing until last year.

[sigh]

I talked to her this morning on the way to work. We don’t talk much anymore because she lives in New Braunfels, Tx and she’s married and life has just taken over. We used to have a standing “date”. Dinner every Tuesday to catch up but we barely talk but once every month or two now.

After a few minutes of catching up I asked how the baby making business was coming along. I thought to myself she should be about four months or so now.

[Paula serious in a serious whisper] “Jules.”
[slight pause]
“um… yeah.”
[Paula’s voice cracks a little] “I miscarried”

The pain in her voice was so real it hurt me to my core. She said they were going to try again soon but she’s realistic and believes she won’t be able to carry a baby to term. She doesn’t think she’ll ever know what it’s like to have “her” baby inside “her” belly.

I sometimes wish I would have given her that baby eight years ago.

a dream the other night


I woke up Monday morning from a rather weird, odd, cooky, dream.
I was making plans for a wedding… but not to the Deistette, although we’re currently engaged. No I was marrying someone else. Someone who goes to my church. And all this with The Deistette’s knowledge.

In fact, the whole thing was some sort of scheme… some sort of plan that would benefit all of us somehow. Even the people in my congregation knew the wedding being planned was a scam and they were all in on making it appear real.

I couldn’t figure out why though. What was the purpose. Why was I willing to forge a marriage. I still can’t figure it out.

It reminded me of question I heard once though. I was on a road trip with some friends and one of the guys pulled out this book that had about 300 or so questions that were supposed spark conversation or debate. One that really stuck with me was this one:

After having dinner at a restaurant you’ve never visited or probably will go back to, the waiter brings you the bill and you notice he/she forgot to add the dessert which was about five dollars. What do you do? Do you tell the waiter of the oversight or do you simply give a bigger tip than you would have… covering or coming close to the five dollar difference.

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