a love/hate with work
I know I should be thankful I have a job but right now I wish I was somewhere else. Like in the cool air of the mountains with a guitar in my hand on the front porch of a cabin.Yesterday Michael Jackson, the king of pop died.
Say what you will about Mike’s personal life… some adjectives I’ve heard are: freak, crazy, mental, unhinged, idiotic, maniac, and the list could go on. Despite what these descriptions may say about Michael Jackson and his off-stage persona, on stage and in the studio he was, as Sir Howard Stringer, Chairman, CEO and President of Sony Corporation said, “a genius whose music reflected the passion and creativity of an era. His artistry and magnetism changed the music landscape forever. We have been profoundly affected by his originality, creativity and amazing body of work.”
Amazing body of work.
Yes, that is a good way to put it. Amazing. It was consistent. Original. Lyrically, sometimes unbelievable, lucid and poignant. Other times… simply danceable.
I remember when I was in fourth grade I was invited to a birthday for some guys I knew from school… twins. read more…
I’ve been meaning to add this post since I finished this year’s abbreviated MS150 bicycle ride back in April but as is the story of my life… things have gotten in the way.
Better late than never though and so here are some thoughts and pictures from my ride. By the way, (a quick commercial break) I still need a few more bucks to meet my fundraising goal. If you could spare a fiver or two it would be super, muchly appreciated. To donate to my ride click the link with the cycling picture and Texas flag. Thank you. Now on with the show.
So as I sat at the starting line this year it kinda came to me that this ride has parallels to our journey in life (at least for me it does, particularly for my Deist, Buddhist, angels-around-us, i-love-reincarnation view of spirituality that I have) and so it got me to thinking and I came up with an analogy.
I mean we all begin at the starting line, a little confused and somewhat nervous. But we see others just like us… and in the midst of these fellow travelers of this journey, we find a little comfort.
For the most part we all have the same gear. You know… we have read more…
The Deistette gave me a pretty bad scare about a week ago… a really big scare.
She almost died.
She has high blood pressure and on occasion her heart gets extremely elevated. She has meds for both but doesn’t take them on a regular basis for one, because she doesn’t have health insurance anymore and to get refills would cost money we don’t have. And two… her blood pressure stays relatively ok half the time. So she takes them when she thinks she really needs them to bring either her BP or heart rate down should it get pretty high that day because she monitors her blood pressure and heart rate at least twice, if not three times a day.
Well, we were in a rush, we were hungry and trying to remember stuff to bring with us for errands to run later. So she forgot about having taken her blood pressure medicine three hours earlier and after checking her heart rate, took the heart med that lowers it. Not a good thing to do.
About an hour later read more…
Here’s another video by Ted Chung that I find pretty interesting. It comes off of Exposure Room.com and was highlighted by the Berlin International Film Festival.
Note: spoiler alert below. watch the film first.
One of the things that I love about most short films is that it leaves the outcome up to the viewer. Many endings of short films certainly beg the question, “what happens next?”
I wonder what would have happened had she begged to get on board the plane for just a few minutes. Or what if the next shot had been her at the window and he looking out his to see her standing there.
ok, gotta go… The Deistette is yelling at me to come to bed. It’s night, night time.
I kinda glazed over the fact that Little Fawn had a birthday a couple of days ago. And it was a big one… at least in Mexican culture it’s a big one: 15.
My baby girl turned 15 on Tuesday. God, I can remember so vividly the day she was born. I’ll have to write about that one later. I had talked with a few friends and even my mom about throwing a big party for her… a quinceanera. But it just wasn’t in the cards.
It’s a pretty big deal when a Mexican girl turns 15. Not having really been raised as a Mexican I couldn’t tell you what that is but apparently it involves dressing the birthday girl in the gaudiest, trashiest dress one can find. Google quinceanera and you’ll see more examples.
I think i’ve writtten this a few times in the past year… too much to do and not enough time to do it.
I can hardly believe two weeks has gone by since I last posted anything. I had a buddy of mine in college whose dad used to say all the time, “time and tide wait for no man.” Apparently the saying is pretty old. Even back in the good ol’ days, people had too much to do and not enough time to do it.
But hopefully I’ll get some stuff posted soon.
Oh here’s some news… Little Fawn was born today. Yep, 15 years ago today. My little baby girl is getting so big.
My North Carolina blog peep, Sherri, aka LeClaw, tagged me with a meme about three weeks ago and because I’m so horrible at doing these in a timely fashion it’s taken me this long to answer all the questions. But better late than never I always say.
1. What is your current obsession?
The Office. I’ve been a fan since I first saw an episode last year but recently The Deistette and I signed up for Netflix and I discovered that it has all the seasons in their entirety. I CAN’T STOP WATCHINNNGGGG! Somebody please help me!
2. Who was the last person you hugged?
The Deistette. Every morning before I leave for work.
I try not to squeeze her too hard cuz she’s so tiny I don’t want to break her. You break it you buy it. : )
3. What’s your favorite dinner?
Enchiladas. Cheesy, beefy, fat-ladened enchiladas. It’s kinda hard to screw up enchiladas so pretty much from anywhere… anytime.
4. What was the last movie you saw in the Theatre?
That is hard to say. I honestly can’t remember it’s been so long. I don’t go to the movies that often. Believe it or not, I think it was nine months ago when The Deistette came out for her first visit. It was The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor. We watched it at this cool place where you can order dinner and beer!… all from the comfort of your oversized chair while watching the movie.
5. What was the last thing you bought? (to wear)
ok, confession… I buy almost every stitch of clothing I own from thrift stores. One reason: I’m cheap. Two: I feel like I’m helping people in need, if at least a little, by spending my money at thrift shops. And three: It’s kinda like recycling and treading softer on the earth. Four pairs of slacks two dress shirts and a cool green silk shirt to wear for band gigs. $17.48 total.
6. What are you listening to right now?
The Alice Band – Ten Year Night
from my The Weepies Radio Channel
i love Pandora.com
7. What is your favorite weather?
I love the fall. I love when the heat of summer is passing and I can count on the next morning having a bit of a chill and the air is a bit dryer, giving relief from the intense humidity of the gulf coast summers. Basically that three week window in October. : )
8. Say something to the person who tagged you. read more…
I wrote about one of my dearest, bestest friends of my life after she got married. She is a wonderful, beautiful, caring sweet woman and I’m certain she is one of my soulmates.
She and her husband were married in May of last year and they got pregnant in mid-January. Although both, in their early 40’s, they knew trying to have a baby at this age might pose some risks and have its challenges.
But she wants a baby. She wants a baby so bad.
About eight years ago, she half jokingly asked if I would help her have a baby. I told her there was no way that was gonna happen. First of all I was married and secondly if there was a baby comin’ it was gonna be made the old fashioned way and I didn’t see that happening… AT ALL!
I told my wife (my wife at that time) about the conversation we’d had where Paula had made this ridiculous suggestion and my wife said it wasn’t so ridiculous at all. My wife, was an amazing person. She was surprisingly supportive of the idea and said if that was something we could give her (”we” because it would certainly need her support as well) that we should do that for her.
Well, we didn’t. I thought about it. I actually thought about having sex with my long-time best friend to try and have a baby with her but I just… couldn’t.
Anyway… She had boyfriends along the way and a couple who even talked of marriage but nothing until last year.
[sigh]
I talked to her this morning on the way to work. We don’t talk much anymore because she lives in New Braunfels, Tx and she’s married and life has just taken over. We used to have a standing “date”. Dinner every Tuesday to catch up but we barely talk but once every month or two now.
After a few minutes of catching up I asked how the baby making business was coming along. I thought to myself she should be about four months or so now.
[Paula serious in a serious whisper] “Jules.”
[slight pause]
“um… yeah.”
[Paula's voice cracks a little] “I miscarried”
The pain in her voice was so real it hurt me to my core. She said they were going to try again soon but she’s realistic and believes she won’t be able to carry a baby to term. She doesn’t think she’ll ever know what it’s like to have “her” baby inside “her” belly.
I sometimes wish I would have given her that baby eight years ago.
So The Deistette takes the quiz over at BeliefNet.com and I think, “what the heck… I’ll try it again.”
Hm. Imagine that… 100% UU.
But I was surprised there was no Deist category.
There was no place for us lowly, uncounted, blip of believers who count as our kindred spirits the founding fathers of this great country. (ok, so we count ‘em as our own but according to Steven Waldmen, it ain’t true. What the hell does he know, the damn heathen) : )
So in that second link above, what I saw in the title of that article was “12% of Americans [blah blah blah] Deists”
Hooray!!! I’m not alone. Take that suckahs!
Well as I looked into his attribution, the research and the stats, I realized I failed to see that the title of the article actually said, “12% of Americans MAY be Deists”
The stats come from the website The Pew Forum on Religious Life. It’s pretty interesting to take a peek at… well, at least to me it’s interesting.
This is interesting, too. According to this USA Today article many denominations are losing ground.
I would think in tough times people would be looking for solace anywhere they could get it… even in the pews. Apparently I’m wrong.
Although, a few weeks ago President Obama said our country is not specifically a Christian, Jewish, Muslim, etc. nation… the fact is, a HUGE majority of people in the U.S. if asked would say they are Christian. My own personal opinion is most people probably mean they are Theists and don’t necessarily believe Jesus is God but a redemptive tool of God.
Anyway, in conversations I’ve had with family, co-workers and acquaintances most, if not all, believe in a God that has a plan for us lowly scabs of humans and believe in a God who can and does make things happen either as reward or punishment.
Doesn’t surprise me a whole lot. I mean we hear it all the time… “everything happens for a reason.” Whether it’s characters on tv shows, movies, books, articles, music or in conversations, we hear that statement implied or verbatim… “everything happens for a reason.” I imagine it’s comforting to believe there is some Grand Designer who intervenes on our behalf and when something shitty or out of control happens it’s nice to be distanced by believing that God’s grand design was at work.
It’s just as comforting for me to think that He/She/It is somewhere just watching… letting me call all the shots, cheering me on, applauding my efforts, getting pissed when I screw up, on the verge of tears when something awful happens to me or being very disappointed when I miss the mark.
It is comforting to me to be a Deist. It meshes well with my Buddhist tendencies and my yoga-loving, bible-passage-using, season-observing, prayer-bead-wearing, talk-to-God-every-morning spiritual path.
So the 2009 MS 150 didn’t go quite as planned. The weather was so bad here on Friday that organizers called off the first day of the ride.
I gotta admit. I wasn’t completely heartbroken. I didn’t train like I should have and wasn’t really ready. I don’t think I could have made two days. Doing just the one 65-mile day on Sunday was hard enough but I made it… fueled by gatorade, bananas, peanut butter crackers and water.
I didn’t have any accidents or even any close calls. I’m so grateful for that. I know The Deistette is, too. She was quite worried. Mucho thanks to all my friends who sent out positive energy my way keeping me safe.
But like an idiot I didn’t use sunscreen so my ears, lips and back of my legs are burnt. Yeah… my lips.
Oh… and my butt hurts.
